Pursuit of Happ'y'ness

There is life between these shimmers they say, the glowing embers of happiness and the brimming sense of gloom. I've been there, spent a long time savoring the little victories, sobbing the horrific losses, quenching my thirst in the unfathomable sea of love. Wait? What am I saying?

If that didn't make sense, let me get down to do some more light hearted jabbering! Once, my friend and I sat watching 'Kung Fu Panda' on the night before an exam. It gave me some amazing points to reflect at life. Like life being a present (gift) and there are no accidents, everything is how it is meant to be and blah blah! :P I could tell you, I have never been that happy in days then on. Not coz the exam went disastrous but well, now even years later, working in a good company doesn't give me that happiness I had in college years. I have a lot more things than I had back then. Yes, things produce an environment conducive of happiness, there's no denying that. And I wouldn't be half as happy now if I didn't have all the new stuff. I hope this is making sense! :D I simply can't live without my phone, ipod or gamer pc.There's a lot more in life now, like five stars, luxurious airports, malls to buy stuff from (previously window shopping), new clothes for every occasion and beautiful gadgets (need them or not).

Though I fancy and absolutely love the things I just mentioned, and God forbid that I would have to leave them someday (save for death, which we all do), there is always a contrast from what used to be and what's now. Like food at the restaurant near college. It was never all that great, for I have tasted better. But the difference was only the impression it made back then. Then waiting for the train at the station with a song blaring from the nearby tea stall. People flooding the station like bees in a swamp. It carried us home every weekend and nothing brings back that feeling anymore. Staying in the hostel with friends, simply made anything a reason to celebrate. Waking up in the room next morning for class and finding everyone else still sleeping around you was so consoling. Fighting for the window to look at the hot junior walking into the building, pardon me, I still ogle discretely if I get a chance, but somehow, I feel the fun was about the fighting and not really the girl. And somehow, I have lost my liking for a lot of things. I can no longer enjoy finger dipped tea. Even though at one point, it had become so much of a routine that I used to console myself that "the chai waala would have washed his hands. He only makes chai doesn't he?" I do not wish to think what else he does with his hands :P

Also, along the years were some beautiful things. The first time taking your crush on your bike, the first kiss by the empty courtyard in the rain, suddenly start attending classes because you get to see her and finally the heartthrob when she inevitably walked off with someone else someday (except for the nerds, everyone else I know had a story like this). What's changed now? I still have my friends. I still roam about ogling, I still catch up with them at KFC instead of Shukoor's shop near college, I still run about and dance like crazy when it rains... Just that, It was all 'enough' at that point. Our expectations were less, our life was just more... Now it's simply gone the other way round. And here, I am, asking myself, "what's new?"

Like most people I know, I'm pushing a 14 hour routine. I watch them rush, complain, crib, cry, try and make more money, buy more gadgets, decorate homes with the comfy furniture. But simply, life has gone timeless, breathless and simply, less. I'm not going to tell you to go watch the sunrise while you can snore away to glory on a weekend. But, I still remember how good it was to ride with my friend on the bike to his stunt practice ground early in the morning at 5. The foggy picture we took that day is still a memento in my fb account.

Flashback aside, with all the complexity of today's life, there is simply more at every corner that gives you happiness, if you look hard enough.  And mostly, all of them come for 'free'. Yep, the word free usually brings a smile on our face, but that's not what I'm talking about. I drive to work every day even though it's in a walk-able distance (yep, lazy). and every single day, the place I park my car has a truck guy pulled up beside it unloading groceries to the nearest shop. I just can't take my car out! There have been times that we have argued and I'm sure we both mutter under our breaths about each other. Just this one weekend, I was just going to get some groceries, but he thought I wanted to take the car. I was in a good mood and smiled at him and waved indicating that I wasn't going to. It kinda made me happier for a while that day and simply every morning afterwards we smile & wave at each other and he moves his truck away so I can take my car. I don't know him, but there's some happiness watching someone smile because of you.

Back a few days, I was out on a helping spree. I gave a poor guy a hand with the tire iron trying to loosen his flat tire. (No, I didn't blast open his skull with the tire iron :) - I'm clarifying coz I just had a feeling you might think that). I managed to help him  and the guy shook hands with me and said "strong man". Well, it wasn't about the compliment. :) But you know, I have felt happy this way, innumerable times, doing little something's like stopping the car to let an old uncle cross the road, giving another vehicle a side amidst the traffic so that he can get into the lane, helping someone jump start his car early morning, saying "It's gonna be alright" to a random stranger who is seated by the park crying to herself (yes I tried this and she only smiled - do not use this as an opportunity to flirt!), waving to a little kid who sat bored in the backseat of a car, and even giving half of my shawarma to a hungry looking cat... :) Hehe

A lot of the people (& the cat) I mentioned are those who did not know me and who I probably will never get to know either. But it felt good to have them smile over something I did. It felt good to have them remember something about me for a split second and probably in later days when someone else treated them like I did.

Well I'm not saying this will give you or me ultimate happiness. But maybe, what you did today for someone might just come back as a big favor to you someday. Just think of it this way, We do a lot to put our today's and tomorrow's in luxury. We pay a lot to bribe hearts to love us.We do a million things that don't matter to impress and get accepted. But maybe, it's the little things that matter in the brevity of life. Maybe it's just worthier to leave something to remember you by, even if it is as effervescent as a bubble. 

After all, in the end, life is nothing but just a memory. Happy happiness to you! :)