Lost...

                The gate seemed wobbly, wanting to submit to gravity as he pushed it open. The soil was moist from recent rains. A small pathway led to a courtyard. The courtyard held the remnants of a fountain and the flooring which was once marble, now betrayed dirt and undergrowth. The dilapidated remains of a home gleamed in the faint moonlight. The front door didn’t seem to be locked. It simply fell off its hinges as he opened it, crashing into the ground. The smell of rot was prominent. “This was home to someone once”, he thought.  

                He lit a match, watching the darkness shift away from where he stood. Finding a candle on the mantelpiece, he tried to light it. Gingerly the wick caught fire. Placing it on a small table, he sat beside it. The light in the room shifted as the breeze disturbed the flame. The darkness was like flowing water, shifting and flowing, hither and thither. The shoes that lay beside a gnawed welcome mat indicated that a couple lived there. He could hear soft voices, past conversations echoing in the hallway. He related to the voices instantly.

                The staircase led upstairs. The ebony handrail seemed to hold remnants of her soft touch as she would come down the stairs welcoming her husband after work, her feet slowly imprinting itself on each stair. The side walls held photo frames that were no longer clear. Carrying another lit candle along, he walked up the stairs. The bedroom still held remains of a livid chandelier and a huge bed. Her favorite teddy stood on the bedpost, holding a heart that said “I love you”. It was his gift on their anniversary. A mirror held a small picture of them stuck to a corner, her eyes were still a twinkle, he remembered. The wardrobe held their favorite clothes, now torn and moth eaten. A fallen cradle lay to a corner of the room, amidst broken, scattered toys.

               He remembered how he had hugged her every day before leaving for work. The smell of her hair filling his heart, the smile on her face while they kissed, the cute frown on her brow when he said he might be late. The late Sunday afternoon’s when they spent their time walking in the courtyard below, when the afternoon sun would glow like her pretty cheeks every time they kissed. It was all lost. Was it a mistake, was there something he did wrong, he did not remember. But he had loved her, forever.         

                This was his home once. He remembered. This was their dream once. This was his family. She was his love. They had lived years in this beautiful dream. Sometimes when you wake from a dream, it simply is dark and bare. Sometimes your life can take the color off your dreams, can crush beautiful flowers to lifeless nothingness; can change beautiful homes to dark dilapidated structures rotting in the undergrowth…

                                The thunder roared outside as he began to descend the stairs. He felt as though he was not welcome anymore. A million memories dragged his mind like photographs under those garlands of cobwebs. The Dry leaves crunched under his feet as he trod away from home. The gate didn’t seem to want to protect his dream home anymore. The rain got heavier but he walked on, looking back at home every once in a while. He had nowhere to go, no paths to follow, and no dreams to hold on to…

              It was not just about living forever. The trick was about living with oneself forever. The roads stretched on to fearful eternity, the rumble of the shifting gravel under his feat, echoing away into the distance…