Thursday, February 24, 2011

The Noise...

There is a sound of a violent chainsaw blaring into the room. It seemed a bit distant but now it grew louder. I closed my eyes tight trying to brace some impending danger. Something soft touched my hand. The sound was still loud but the touch was so soft and warm, I had to open my eyes and look at who it was. She smiled at me, still holding on to my hand. She was my cousin’s one year old daughter. Now wide awake, I realized the source of the noise was the kitchen blender. Alongside, the pressure cooker seemed to be huffing and puffing like the old steam engine and my cousin's wife seemed to be watching the worst music program on earth and to make matters worse, she was singing along. (Now that could wake the entire neighbourhood!) Giving the little one a small pat on the head, I looked at the time. It was just about 6 in the morning. The blender and the accompanied noise seemed to silence behind me as I walked in to the bedroom to use my cousin’s parent’s bed. Luckily they wake early.

The world goes out of joint. Everything vanishes as I curl up in the soft bed that was so much more comfortable compared to the sofa set in the front room. There is a sound of the door handle being twisted. And even though I’m fast asleep, my eyes brows crease and far more than ever, I have been made fun of the next fact that I am to do; putting the pillow over my head instead of under my head. Though it addled everyone as to why I did that, I have never tried counseling them the fact that no one likes the tube lights switched on when hanging on to some dear sleep! Grrr!!!

I’m still asleep but there is a lot of brain activity and speculation about what is gonna happen next. Why has the subject arrived in the room? Since eyes are an immediate sense of the five, its sealed and will only open when I want it to. What you say is not gonna open it! Got it? There is a sound of water dripping. Hmmm… No one uses  this bathroom coz there are 3 other bigger bathrooms in the house. Ha! Got ya. The subject is trying to operate the washing/dreadful machine. Though the machine is not very noisy and a good make, it’s got a retarded buzzer indicating the maximum of 15mins on the tunable dial is over. So for the next 15 mins, sleep is definite. The person leaves but forgets the tube light. Pulling on the bed sheet over my head, I block out as much light as possible. Oh God, they are gonna tell me I sleep in weird positions… Before I can even consider the awkwardness of my sleeping position, I flow into a higher level of sleep. The unregistered one!

Boohooo!!! There is the machine crying out saying its done what it had to for an entire minute. If I cried out of my sleep, it would have sounded louder than the buzzer. The retarded machine stops. Hours slip away. I am not woken for breakfast since they know I need to sleep. But the washing machine is a pre-requisite even if they had the entire yesterday evening to do it. 10:30am… Jesus! What will they think of me? Oh no! I jump out of bed and walk out to the hall finding the baby girl sleeping with uncle on the couch (not exactly a couch by the way! More like a hinge bed with the hinges right at the centre and pokes ur ass when you try to sleep at night and if you move too much to a corner it won’t hold your weight and will topple you on to the floor).

A smile dawns on my unwashed face, trying to hide the embarrassment of sleeping till late. Luckily uncle is napping. I walk back into the room and in another 3 minutes, I have washed my face and cleaned my teeth (The duration seems very less to them. Yes, I do not disagree. All the while, growing up in my locality back home, I have seen people walking around the streets with the brush in their mouth or sitting by the gate with the newspaper and even talking with the brush in their mouths to people who are on the way to their work. I’m sorry, but it takes just a few minutes to clean up my teeth and I do brush well! OK?).

Lord! I exclaim as I see uncle waking up from his nap. He looks at me with disgust. Aunty is sweet, she brings tea and breakfast for me. I hog as fast as I can so that I don’t feel embarrassed for eating breakfast at 11. :) (its still morning though!  Buhahahaha!!!)  A few more minutes and I’m done. The little one wakes up after her nap as well as uncle switches on the TV. She is gorgeous. Aunt takes her away to feed her. I set myself down at the computer in the hall. Time to do some “studying”. (Yes! Its studying!)  I take a few minutes brushing up with what I studied till 2 am yesterday. And uncle seems to ask something, “Don’t you have anything to study? Why do you spend a lot of time in front of the computer?” 

                “LORD!” There goes my second exclamation. How do I explain to him that I am learning HTML and CSS at the moment and learning theory from a book ain’t gonna cut it. I need to use the pc and practically work things out? My dad used to think the same, “Computer is a play thing. Anything more and it’s a type writing machine! And with no printer, its no use typing on it” Disclaimer: (I am not insulting the older/elder generation. You are the best and our guides for life. Only that something’s are new. Pls understand) I sit silent and have a smile pasted on my mouth coz I had nothing to say. Uncle clearly takes it as me being a disobedient spoilt brat. The TV blares into my ears as I’m trying to make some sense out of the document scribbled in front of me. “Uncle! Please reduce volume na?” I add the “na” in the end so that it won’t sound rude. He follows suit but unfortunately each channel has its own volume on this TV and uncle is an awesome channel surfer! That anyhow disables me from even taking a peak at the TV coz I am not a fan of channels being changed so fast. Anyways, I ain’t a TV freak!

Time runs and the volume is unbearable. I fancy superman who had laser light thing (whatever they call it) in his eyes. He could sit here and blast the TV and no one will understand what happened! I walk back into the bed room and look around in my bag for earphones. I stuff it into my ears and the buzz of the TV disappears. Somehow the music is not very disturbing though I enjoy silence while reading. “When the going gets tough, the tough gets going!” LOL! I push a few pages and do some studies and its about 12:30pm. The little girl comes around my table looking at me. She seems to find the screen amusing and laughs when I show her pictures which I had clicked earlier. She loves the funny cables that are running behind the computer and wants to give them a nice bite! Or the cell phone charger that’s got my phone plugged in. One pull and my sony xperia will be sony expired!  I love her so much though. She is such a sweet kid. A few more times she comes closer and I want to carry her. I cant stop myself. I grab her and walk around the hall, take her to the kitchen where she loves pulling things down. Aunty is busy making lunch. A few more minutes and I glare at the watch thinking it should stop working! It’s 1pm! Now that’s time for my classes. (Yes! Probably the institute knew that I am a dreadful sleeper, they kept classes for me from 1pm to 6pm- Java programming! ~which is the reason I am staying at my cousin’s house!)

I rush to class after a hastily eaten lunch and aunty always says I have lost weight after coming here. She’s a sweetheart. Always the perfect homemaker and though she isn’t the very educated type, she is one dedicated and loving person. A lot of love flows along her, just like my mom.  I manage to tell her that I would probably sleep off in class if I eat too much, which is true. Rushing and sometimes taking an auto even though I know that’s a purse ripper. I reach the class and say hi to my friends. The guys Jeeju, Vishnu, Bimal, Jeffin etc are already settled for some fun! The only girl, Asha, out of the total 16 students smiles and greets. There is a good feeling seeing her face. She always seems fresh and happy and she’s always before time, at least before the time I arrive! Lol! Time goes on… We all push through the time. We do some quarelling with our sweet teacher and she comes over and explains again. We push in some other topic once a while and we’re all talking about something else sometimes!  :)

I am drained by the time I walk out of the class. With the music on, I walk home twisting and turning in my way to the house. I sometimes do an occasional dance step to the music, though I really don’t know any step. I just feel free. I watch as people walk on, rushing past me in cars and bikes and on foot! Thousands rushing home... My pages have been like any of those people who walk past me. A spurt of the age, and enough laziness to go along; the lack of acceptance to common belief’s and traditions; a heart dying to prove myself; a mind that seems to convince myself that I have seen pretty much of life but of course you always learn new things no matter how much you have seen (mind you, am way past teenage!); memories of tragic love; a heart that tries to return as much as love as I get from my parents; a heart that never tends to tire, never ceases to believe in myself and people around me. Sporting a personality that I would not blame, not coz its mine, but I believe I am not bad.  I have seen enough  to fret or cry over small things.  I do sleep and wake late. I do not have a specific timetable. I do not have lines drawn for paths to follow. I have wasted money.  I have been naughty at times. I do stare at girls. I have a million crushes. I have loved unconditionally and cried uncontrollably when I have lost. I have walked a million miles alone. I have known what it takes to step over the line. I have done all those things I’d wanted to do. I don’t know, like the so many around me, I simply just am… myself…

The night set in as I walked home. Uncle opened the door for me. I was more than sure he didn’t seem to like me much. He had his points, I had mine. He was spending days and months locked at home since they had to take care of the baby while her parents were away. The only freedom he had was to watch some TV. And to a person with not much experience on a computer would probably consider it equivalent to a TV. That would explain why he didn’t believe I was studying. I smiled at him as if I had some heavenly realization in my head. “I had an awesome day today…” I said to him as I walked towards the baby girl. Studying was left to midnight when everything in the house would go silent. I lay down by the sleeping little girl and held her close. Her breathing seemed sweet and peaceful. The rest of the night went as routine and we all joked and laughed as we always did. My days here were coming to a close soon. They are a great lot, I should say and I will miss them while I am gone… For what they have been to me...  

The next morning, my sleep deprived eyes were partially closed and taking as little light into my eyes as possible, I sat at the table for breakfast at 8:30am... A smile dawned on my face as I heard the washing machine blare its buzzer from the bedroom. My cousin asked me why I was smiling.
“Nothing… Being awake at this time feels special…!”
 Uncle looked at me and smiled…  


Sunday, February 13, 2011

I'm Busy...

            DISCLAIMER: This article does not refer to those who are really busy working their asses off! :P  Yet, read on…

            The heroin is tied up at the chair. The villain stands next to her with a gun to her head and waits for the hero to arrive. A heroic rhythm follows the hero’s footsteps as he arrives and there’s a sudden sound “Pling”. And his next step and there’s another “Pling”… “What the??  Oh damn, facebook chat, again!” You pause the movie and glare into facebook. “Oh this guy eh?” You hate facebook chat for two things, it doesn’t have a ‘busy’ status (as far as I know) and it’s totally retarded sometimes. The blessed “X” at the right top corner is clicked and there facebook plummets away… You hastily go over to gtalk and put the status to “busy” avoiding further irritation…

It’s fashionable to open up facebook and gtalk the moment you jack into a pc connected to the net, though you are in just to edit a word file or watch some movie. And, it’s equally fashionable to put up the status sign “BUSY”  Reminds me of people wasting a ‘bit’ of the expensive food they buy when they go to big restaurants. It’s simply ‘fashionable’ not to finish the entire thing.

***
Ok ok… coming back… There is someone who argues “I don’t want to be pinged while I’m doing something” Yes, I could agree with him. But why not simply log off instead? The guy gets pissed, “It’s my wish!” 

***
A good old classmate goes “I’m busy” on his status and I believed I had enough freedom to ask what he was busy with, since I was pretty sure he was jobless at home. He doesn’t seem to reply. I bug him and bug him and he goes, “Hey @#$%^, can’t you see I’m busy?”  I swallowed the jibe and asked him what he was busy with, “Farmville” (For those who don’t know, it’s an online game on facebook).

***
“I waited all this while thought you would ping. What are you doing?” And there she goes, “Ooooooooohhhhhhh... I didn’t see you… Sorry” And for those who use your own pc, you have the excuse that gtalk loaded itself with its saved password. If you plan to lie to someone that you were busy and didn’t notice that gtalk (oh that lil devil!!!) went online, you should consider that he/she might have noticed your change from ‘Available’ to ‘Busy’… Well anyways it doesn’t matter coz you really don’t care.

***
“Hey” from a girl who has never seemed to be able to shift off the busy status and has never bothered to reply.  I take my time giving a ‘hi’ trying to give an impression that I was least interested. “Ummm.. Could you do me a favour?”  Yup, I knew that was coming and I ask what she wants. “There is this guy stalking me online, Can you talk to him and ask him what his problem is?” I agree almost as soon as she says it but I ask her for a little favour “Can you remove that busy status and make it available so that I can see it just this once?” She gives a “hahaha” and then changes it to available. (My mind goes “yippee”) 
(Hmmm… That’s very friendly. See how opportunist people can be?) Then I go,  “You know, I kinda have better things to do… Oh btw, I added you to increase the number of friends on facebook… Not coz I wanna talk to you! Sheesh! Guess you’ll look better in my blocked list. Next time bother to get friendly before asking a favour! BYE B****!!!!” :P :P   
 Somewhere in the back my mind there is an evil laugh and a dialog that goes, “Stand up so I can kill you again!”

***

            The net has always inspired us to be fake, hooded behind a screen. It definitely cannot be ruled out that there are really busy people busy with other conversations or some of us like some privacy online. But how many of us just put the status “busy” to show off we have things to do when you’re just almost snoring away in front of the screen waiting for something extra ordinary to happen? How many times have we simply got irritated and went offline instead of just telling the guy, “Dude, I really don’t want to talk to you now or anymore” We find an excuse for not being direct, saying we’re busy, we don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings etc etc... If there are strangers bugging you, you probably let them into your friend’s list in the first place! 

            It is customary for us not really bothering about people we do not know or who are far away from us. As the old saying goes, “Out of sight, out of mind…” Things can be solved by a block button or the simple status that goes “Busy” Nobody ever did question your freedom to do what you feel like, simply, you question yourself, for being fake… A prompt answer would be, “Simply, coz that’s the way everyone is…”

 It’s funny the way things are. We have status messages and buttons like ‘like’, ‘poke’ etc to speak for us… We hide behind them, as we devoid ourselves of expression… The problem of stereotyped stuff is that they express only a part of what you feel and rest is left for the other person to guess and sometimes even misunderstand… Say, someone you don’t know ‘poked’ you on facebook. You probably poke them back out of no interest but just to get rid of the thing. Bingo! They get a different meaning there.. 

 Time would probably come when we’d be busy or rather sometimes lazy enough to employ buttons that store whole big sentences, simply coz its fashionable…

            Again, reminding you of the escape clause I left for you in the beginning of this article. You may be included in the list of the really busy people or you may continue to convince yourself and everyone you’re busy. It’s all yours…!!!

 :)  Keep reading guys!!! 

This is Vijay Velayudhan Signing off!!!